Empaths and extra sensitive adults may find this info useful. Parents with sensitive children also can find it helpful. Regular people can also benefit understanding and overcoming relationship conflict: victim-rescuer-abuser.
What Victim-Rescuer-Abuser Roles I Learned in My Family?
These roles learned are passed on down from our father and mother’s lineages. I carried a tendency of victim-rescuer-abuser in the my DNA.
Father victim of his parental wounding from his mother. He looked after his mother’s needs on trip from Russia to US – Rescuer/Codependent. He suffered as a Victim of his alcohol addiction, having no awareness how to heal.
My father seldom talked to me. He also aside from anger never expressed other emotions.
I believed my father felt a lot of shame as a child. He may have had a lot of repressed anger and also self-hatred which surfaced after a few drinks of alcohol. I recognize now that he experienced deep emotional wounding. My father I sense felt worthless and the “lowest man on the totem pole.”
I say this because as a teen I felt ashamed that everyone knew my father as an alcoholic. As a empath/sensitive I took on his feelings of shame as my own. Compared to the other boys at school, I felt like “lowest man on the totem pole.” I kept this all to myself. I also thought of myself as stupid as the smartest boy in grade 12 had a lot higher IQ that me.
Persecutor: The Bully

Mother, as young girl, became caretaker/rescuer of 5 other children when her mother died young. She lived on a farm with lots of back breaking work from dawn to dusk. In our family, my mother took on the victim/martyr role. As a teen she said to me our loud one time, “Look at all I’ve sacrificed for you kids.”
I learned unconsciously from a young age to take on parental role. Without knowing it, I filled in for my father. I learned to be a victim. As young boy, I made unconscious decisions to feel somewhat safe. I stayed quiet, expressed nothing and repressed my feelings. My anger I repressed at the deepest levels.
For survival I allowed myself to be a victim of my father’s anger. I decided it was unsafe to express anger. As a result, I carried many layers of anger throughout my life. Only extreme provocation evoked a state of rage.
https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/dysfunctional-family-roles/
Drama Triangle https://youtu.be/E_XSeUYa0-8
See Also more ways of overcoming relationship conflict
See 3 Methods for Dissolving Victim Patterns https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/victim/
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