Empaths and extra sensitive adults may find this info useful. Parents with sensitive children also can find it helpful. Regular people can also benefit understanding and overcoming relationship conflict: victim-rescuer-abuser.
How I Learned Personal Responsibility for Self-Empowerment: Victim-Rescuer-Abuser
Victim/Coach/Teacher – How To – Supports – Asks Questions for Clarity
Rescuer/Healer – I Can – Empowered – Power to Choose
Abuser/Mentor – You Can – Learns – Grows – Acts – Change unconscious to conscious
My Wife’s Family History and Our Journey Together
My present wife of over 25 years, like me, came from a family of 5. She suffered as a Victim of her mother’s alcoholism. As the eldest, she took on being the mother of the family. She protected her siblings, the best she could, from her mother’s behaviors.
In my wife’s role, as a Rescuer, she developed extreme codependency.
To Lyn’s credit, as an adult, when she visited her mother, she set strong personal boundaries. That is if her mother had been drinking, Lyn left. She no longer accepted victimization. Lyn graduated from Victim to Teacher.
When we met, I had spent ½ my life on a path of emotional and spiritual growth. Lyn had been a party girl seeking outer pleasures. When she embraced an inner path of growth, she zoomed ahead of me.
Lyn studied some healing courses. She also attended the Oneness University in India courses 5 times over a period of years. As a result, Lyn connected with her Inner Divine. Her Divine guided her overcoming being a Rescuer and a Codependent.
One day after some years Lyn told me she would, “No longer be my emotional body.” That is; I had to be in touch with my own feelings and express them.
Personal Responsibility & Self-Empowerment
Both Lyn and I have graduated out of our family patterns of Victim and Rescuers. We work now in duo, as Core Energetic Healers and Teachers. Clients experience emotional and spiritual life transformations. We both have developed our professional gifts as Energy Healers and Spiritual Teachers. We are Empathic and Highly Sensitive to subtle energies. As well, we experience the collective energies of humanity.
Lyn reciprocates with her gifts to assist me emotionally in my personal healing. I assist her physical and energetic being.
Lyn no longer gets caught in her critical mind or emotional drama. My inner child sometimes still falls into the Victim pit of “poor me.” Lyn loving points this out to me with an inner Zen stick. “Michael you have fallen into the pit again.”
I have learned what it feels like down in the emotional swamp of the pit. By intent to raise my consciousness, I come out.
On a further note, my inner child still wants recognition for doing a good job. When I see this, I inwardly gather him up in my arms. Then I connect both of us up with our Divine Essence where we just “Be.”
I also still wrestle sometimes with wanting to fix and save people.
With more consciousness, I have choice for responsibility for greater self-empowerment. I can continue with old patterns which keep me locked into suffering. Or I can choose a new paradigm of evolving beyond suffering. A paradigm of joy in life.
Drama Triangle https://youtu.be/E_XSeUYa0-8
See Also more ways of overcoming relationship conflict
See 3 Methods for Dissolving Victim Patterns https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/victim/
Power of Choice https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/power-of-choice2/
Core Energetic Healing https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/core-energetic-healing/
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