Inner Child Healing

What is our wounded inner child? It is all the fearful, hurt, neglected, and vulnerable parts of our psyche, as a young child, which have separated from our being because of trauma or for survival. These parts never had a chance to express themselves, have a voice. Most of us, whether we realize it, have various severed child parts at different ages from birth to less than ten years old. In addition, most of us as adults never think about having a wounded inner child. Furthermore, we usually have no idea how to heal these parts even if we wanted to. So how do we recognize the signs this child needs healing? Do you experience on a repeated basis any of the following as an adult: mistrust, shame, fear of intimacy, desire to please others, issues with authority, judgment and criticism of yourself, anger issues, or feelings of isolation? Overall, do you experience the same repeated patterns of conflict in failed relationships or repeating emotional reactions to people or events?

Suzanne: Inner Child Work If you came across a child or your inner child who was lost, frightened, neglected, or abused would you tell them to be quiet, go to the corner and not to complain? Yet, every day in counseling offices around the world, patients are told to let go of the past and focus on the present only.  While there is certainly wisdom in this approach, for “The past cannot be changed”, “What is done, is done”, “Yesterday is dead and gone”; sometimes we need to look at the victim that is crying out for help. The inner child that resides in all of us came upon this world taking in stimuli of all sorts. Sound, sight, smell, taste (although not very sophisticated), touch and reacted to it via emotion and feelings.  A baby will respond in fear to a harsh voice or look or coo in delight to a smile or silly noises.  As they explore, their experiences grow in depth and diversity. They know how it feels to be loved and protected and they know how it feels to be frightened and alone.  A healthy child takes the next step and begins finding out answers for themselves through exploration starting before their first birthday, giving way to the beginnings of the “Adult” who thinks for them self.  If all goes well, this development continues and blossoms.  As they grow the child remains but is happy, content and always available with a sense of creativity, joy, and a sense of fun & adventure (along with cravings for the occasional sweet treat or comfort food.)

Emotionally Wounded Inner Child: Does It Now Run Our Lives? Like most of you I had no idea I had an wounded inner child until in my early 40’s motivated by a series of unhappy relationships, I gained an interest in my inner child and the possibility of healing him. I grew up as an invisible lost child in a family with a person with alcohol use disorder.  So I repeated the same trauma in my intimate relationships whenever I felt threatened, I retreated into my self without ever expressing my feelings. Some of my partners did the same. My wounded inner child remained unknown to me until my partner at the time told me she had a therapist who worked with healing her inner child.  This and most of all the pain of being unable to express my feelings or needs in relationships motivated me to contact this child. I started by reading John Bradshaw’s, Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child.

How to Heal Your Wounded Inner Child Our wounded inner child contains all our positive and negative emotional patterns. They live in our psyche as the little child we once were. They carry the wounds of past trauma. A clue that our inner child runs our lives emerges in the patterns of drama and trauma, which keep reappearing repeatedly in our adult lives. Another clue shows itself if we keep retelling the same story of suffering to others. My inner child carries the wounds from growing up with an emotionally distant father addicted to alcohol. Yet, I am grateful for him allowing me, at the age of ten, to play for two summers with my younger brother. We played fantasy cowboy games amongst the groves of maple trees. As a man, I never related to my inner child. In fact, I knew nothing about having an inner child. In addition, when I studied psychology at college no one mentioned the inner child at the time.