I will show some ways to heal your suffering child. I describe 4 aspects of the inner child. Then I suggest a way of healing.
KING/QUEEN (Tantrums)
You may know adults who refuse to accept “No” from their partner. The partner “walks on eggshells.” They give in out of fear of the partner’s emotion tantrums.
Likewise, we all know children who cry or scream when their demands are unmet. Maybe they throw themselves on the ground. Our inner child does the same inside us. The child wants to rule the household or her/his kingdom
Our inner child tests our ability to establish strong boundaries with love.
HEALING: Overcoming Fear of Setting Healthy Boundaries
When you feel anger or fear arising around creating boundaries. Become aware of the feelings. Breathe or take a quick time out, if possible. Now come back to your feeling. Respond now from a centered place and set the boundary. You may have to walk away when a physical child “acts out”. Then the child gets no attention for this behavior.
The above applies also applies to our inner child.
MANIPULATOR (Controller)
A child tricks adults into giving the child what it wants. “A child wants what it wants when it wants it.” Our inner child acts the same way.
On an inner level imagine talking to your inner child. Ask them what they want. You can also journal to allow your child to communicate.
The inner child has no training how to receive and give.
HEALING: Teach your inner child, as the adult, you take charge. Never allow your child to run/ruin your live.
NOTE: A controller fears losing control. They fear showing vulnerability.
GOOD BOY/GIRL
These children/inner children act quiet and compliant. They make jokes and clown around. Conflict is avoided. They want to make everyone happy. As a result, they ignore their feelings and needs. Your suffering child desires recognition.
You may know adults who have the above behavior. They/their inner child bends backwards to please others. They seek approval in unhealthy ways. This behavior shows our codependency.
Codependency results from childhood trauma. As an addiction, we feel less than others. We have poor boundaries. Our own needs and feelings suffer. We constantly please everyone else.
This inner child takes on over-responsibility for others. https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/over-responsible
HEALING Suffering Child:
The trauma of our inner child requires steps towards Codependency Recovery.
https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/codependent-behavior
REBEL
The rebel inner child acts out in adult relationships. Like children, teenagers also rebel. Rebels have no desire to deal with authority. They do what they want. They answer truthfully to no adult.
Our inner child rebels to our adult. The most common response; “F” YOU!
The “Little You” has no desire to hear “NO” or experience change. It only knows resistance. Stuck in our traumatic childhood patterns, we never grow emotionally.
HEALING REBEL ACTING OUT: COMMUNICATE – Imagine talking directly to your inner child. Discover her/his feelings and fears. Encourage the child to begin feeling vulnerable, bit by bit.
When we open our defiant contracted selves, suffering lessens. Opening to vulnerability invites more life to enter.
Power of vulnerability – Brené Brown https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o
Read also https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/wounded-inner-child-3
In Next Article I explain 5th aspect of inner child, the Victim. https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/inner-victim-child
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