Codependency March 6, 2012

12 Steps to Recovery from Codependency Traits – Part 3

by Michael

Recovery from Codependency

Part 3 continues with the last four codependency traits where Part 2 left off.

I am suggesting a full blown codependency personality separates by 12 degrees maximum from their true inner self or others. With each degree of recovery from codepen codependency dency you become one degree closer to a healthy connection with your inner self and others.

To sum up a codependency personality:

· Puts others needs before their own.

· They deny their own feelings and needs.

· Their self-esteem depends on how well they take care of others.

The 12 core codependency traits come from the work of John Bradshaw: The Family. See the last 4 core codependent traits.

How many degrees of separation do you find yourself in codependency relationships?

9. Enmeshed Boundaries

· Your personal emotional boundaries entangle with another person

· You lack awareness of you own needs e.g. being tired or hungry

· You expect others to know your feelings and needs

· You give up on yourself

· You strive to live up to others expectations

· You need to always be in relationship or else you avoid relationships

Tip for Recovery: Start to become aware of your feelings and needs. Express your feelings and needs.

healing your inner child10. Narcissistic Deprivation (Self-centered, extreme need for admiration)

· You use your children to give you love

· Outer acclaim and possessions make you feel worthwhile

· No amount of acclaim and love is ever enough

· You seek relationships with people who feel they need you

Tip for Recovery: Find a good inner child therapist to begin healing your childhood wounds.

recovery codependency traits11. Poor Communication Skills:

· You have difficulty saying or knowing what you mean

· You believe what you say as being unimportant

· You make indirect rather than direct remarks

· People’s verbal and nonverbal signals confuse you

Tip for Recovery: Take training to improve your communication skills

recovery codependency traits12. Feeling Disconnected:

· You feel depressed a lot

· You feel like life has no meaning

· You feel powerless to change your life; you feel like a victim

· You seldom feel connected to others

Tip for Recovery: Learn grounding exercises to connect into the earth. Start seeing and practicing situations where you feel powerful. Start exercising, even just walking. Exercise increases serotonin which can decrease depression. Exercise connects us more with our bodies and group sports connect us to others.

Do you identify with any of the above codependency traits? Practice at least one tip daily.

See Part 2 – 12 Steps to Recovery from Codependency Traits

See Part 1 – 12 Steps to Recovery from Codependency Traits


Michael David Lawrience is the author of The Secret from Drama, Trauma and Pain His book provides ways for improving emotional health, easing pain and stress, healing physical and emotional abuse, and spiritual awakening.

Michael as a Residential and Self-Esteem Coach and Mentor has over 13 years’ experience teaching teen’s self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-reliance. See eBook Self-Esteem: A Teen’s Guide for Girls

Michael offers Bowen Therapy in person in Sedona, Arizona for easing physical and emotional pain. See

Michael also conducts personalized hiking tours in Sedona for emotional and spiritual breakthroughs.




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