Six degrees of separation means everyone remains about six steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person on Earth. 12 degrees of separation refers to the maximum separation. Would you like to feel a closer connection to people? I am applying this concept of 12 degrees of separation to codependency personality traits.
A full blown codependency personality separates by 12 degrees maximum from their true inner self or others.
With each degree of recovery from codependency you become one degree closer to a healthy connection with your inner self and others. My experience of recovery takes months and years. Everything now, however, accelerates much faster so your recovery may be much quicker.
You may wonder, What is codependency? Codependency has multiple definitions. To sum it up a codependency personality:
· Puts others needs before their own.
· They deny their own feelings and needs.
· Their self-esteem depends on how well they take care of others.
How many degrees of separation do you find yourself in codependency relationships? Let’s take a look.
The 12 core codependent traits come from the work of John Bradshaw: The Family. Here are the first 4 core codependency traits. Do you identify with any of these?
Recovery from Codependency
· Are you a perfectionist or a controller?
· Are you out of control with your life?
· Are you afraid to show your needs so you never depend on anyone?
· Are you a people pleaser?
· Are you obnoxious?
Tip for Recovery: Start becoming aware of your feelings and needs. Then practice small steps in expressing your feelings and needs with people you trust.
2. Do you overreact to everything outside of you?
· Does your self-esteem come from others approving of you?
· Do you constantly find needy people to take care of?
· Do you seek happiness outside of you from others?
Tip for Recovery: Begin using techniques daily to build up your self-esteem inside of you, feeling good about your inner qualities.
· Do you avoid pain through addictions like alcohol, depression, drugs, or over eating etc.?
· Do you fall into the victim trap of hopelessness and powerlessness?
· Do you deny the truth of your reality?
· Do you isolate yourself from people?
Tip for Recovery: Choose to fully embrace, face, and go through your emotional traumas. The only way out is through.
· Do you trust everyone or no one?
· Are you all or nothing e.g. sweet or abusive?
· Do you have no opinions or are you critical or judgmental?
· Do you perceive everything as either black or white?
Tip for Codependency Recovery: Become willing to open up your mind and expand your perception of yourself, your feelings, and others. Be willing to explore the gray area between black and white.
Read Part 2 for how to recognize and begin recovery for 4 more core codependency traits. https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/2012/02/27/recovery-codependency-traits-2
Read Part 3 how to recognize and begin recovery for the last 4 core codependency traits. https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/2012/03/06/recovery-codependency-traits-3
Practice one recovery tip daily.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Michael David Lawrience is the author of The Secret from Drama, Trauma and Pain http://ow.ly/TRbQR His book provides ways for improving emotional health, easing pain and stress, recovery from codependency, healing physical and emotional abuse and suffering, and spiritual awakening.
Michael as a Residential and Self-Esteem Coach and Mentor has over 15 years’ experience teaching teen’s self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-reliance. See eBook See eBook Self Esteem- A Teen’s Guide for Girls http://ow.ly/I9QjY This book is valuable for women also.
Michael offers Bowen Therapy in person in Sedona, Arizona for easing physical and emotional pain. See http://emotionalhealthtips.com/bowen-therapy
Michael also conducts personalized hiking tours in Sedona for emotional and spiritual breakthroughs. https://www.sedonamysticaltours.com/company/michael-david-lawrience/