What are Some Codependency Symptoms?
In codependency, a codependent has a compulsive need to control an otherwise out of control life. This may be true as I experienced an out of control family life because of the unpredictability of my fathers drinking and anger outbursts. I took control by withdrawing and numbing all my feelings for I knew nothing about setting boundaries.
As an adult, my relationships involved multiple codependent behaviors of which I remained unaware. In these relationships, I avoided expressing any feelings for fear of rejection. The women in my life criticized me for lack of feeling. Their criticism confirmed doubts about me. Did I even have the capacity to love at all?
In addition, I tended to take care of my partners financial needs and I also had poor boundaries as I had no idea where my personal boundaries ended and other persons began.
What are Some Signs of Codependency Recovery?
I began my recovery in the late 1980’s when I read Melody Beattie’s, Codependent No More. I recognized my codependency and for the next twenty years became less and less codependent. Like other addictions you may be in recovery for the rest of your life. I, however, am no longer codependent.
I can see codependency as an addiction because I relied on my female partners to feel for me rather than knowing and expressing my own feelings. Codependents crave and expect a temporary boost of their self-esteem when they care-take some need for their partner. Like any addiction the outer boost only lasts for a short time and then the codependent looks for another fix.
I now love myself, I accept others as they are, I am in touch with and express my feelings, I validate myself rather than searching outside myself for a relationship to feel okay, and I trust trustworthy people. Most important, I am in a relationship, which allows me to grow into all I am capable of being.
If you experience codependency, have you had enough suffering to take the steps to codependency recovery?
Read Also How Can Codependency Recovery Reduce Your Suffering? How Can Codependency Recovery Reduce Your Suffering?https://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/2010/03/29/codependency-recovery
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Michael David Lawrience is the author of Emotional Health: The Secret from Drama, Trauma, and Pain His book provides ways for improving emotional health, easing pain and stress, healing physical and emotional abuse, and spiritual awakening. See book on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Health-Secret-Freedom-Trauma-ebook/dp/B004CLYO00
Michael as a previous Residential and Self-Esteem Coach and Mentor has over 15 years’ experience teaching teen’s self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-reliance. See eBook Self Esteem- A Teen’s Guide for Girls This book is valuable for women also. https://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Teens-Guide-Michael-Lawrience-ebook/dp/B009L4JLMO
Michael offers Bowen Therapy in person in Sedona, Arizona for easing physical and emotional pain. See http://emotionalhealthtips.com/bowen-therapy
Michael also conducts personalized hiking tours in Sedona for emotional and spiritual breakthroughs. https://www.sedonamysticaltours.com/company/michael-david-lawrience/