Six degrees of separation means everyone remains about six steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person on Earth. 12 degrees of separation refers to the maximum separation. Would you like to feel a closer connection to people?
I am applying this concept of 12 degrees of separation to codependent personality traits. A full blown codependent personality separates by 12 degrees maximum from their true inner self or others.
With each degree of recovery from codependency you become one degree closer to a healthy connection with your inner self and others. My experience of recovery takes months and years. Everything now, however, accelerates much faster so your recovery may be much quicker.
You may wonder, What is codependency? Codependency has multiple definitions. To sum it up a codependent personality:
· Puts others needs before their own.
· They deny their own feelings and needs.
· Their self-esteem depends on how well they take care of others.
How many degrees of separation do you find yourself in codependent relationships? Let’s take a look.
The 12 core codependent traits come from the work of John Bradshaw: The Family. Here are the first 4 core codependent traits. Do you identify with any of these?
1. Do you feel worthless?
· Are you a perfectionist or a controller?
· Are you out of control with your life?
· Are you afraid to show your needs so you never depend on anyone?
· Are you a people pleaser?
· Are you obnoxious?
Tip for Recovery: Start becoming aware of your feelings and needs. Then practice small steps in expressing your feelings and needs with people you trust.
2. Do you overreact to everything outside of you?
· Does your self-esteem come from others approving of you?
· Do you constantly find needy people to take care of?
· Do you seek happiness outside of you from others?
Tip for Recovery: Begin using techniques daily to build up your self-esteem inside of you, feeling good about your inner qualities.
3. Do you deny and avoid facing your inner emotional pain?
· Do you avoid pain through addictions like alcohol, depression, drugs, or over eating etc.?
· Do you fall into the victim trap of hopelessness and powerlessness?
· Do you deny the truth of your reality?
· Do you isolate yourself from people?
Tip for Recovery: Choose to fully embrace, face, and go through your emotional traumas. The only way out is through.
4. Do you experience extremes?
· Do you trust everyone or no one?
· Are you all or nothing e.g. sweet or abusive?
· Do you have no opinions or are you critical or judgmental?
· Do you perceive everything as either black or white?
Tip for Recovery: Become willing to open up your mind and expand your perception of yourself, your feelings, and others. Be willing to explore the gray area between black and white.
Next week read Part 2 for how to recognize and begin recovery for 4 more core codependent traits. Practice one recovery tip daily.
Michael David Lawrience is giving away free 50-pages of his book, The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, & Pain
His complete book gives more ways to improve your emotional health, chronic pain management, emotional healing, stress release, and ways to heal codependency.
This article may be reproduced with a live link back to http://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/recovery-codependency-traits-1
