How to Heal the Pain of Low Self-Esteem

October 7th, 2012

Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge. - Fritz Perls, Gestalt therapist

Check out these 6 practices to shift your dependency on others. Begin to feel good about yourself. Begin your self-healing.

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

There will always be people prettier and smarter than you. How would you treat your best friend? Treat yourself even better.

I emphasize that comparing ourselves to others can come from low self-esteem… Every person you meet, every situation you encounter, challenges you to become a stronger, more loving, and confident person…. Self-esteem comes from embracing this, working with what each day brings. Judith Orloff, M.D., Author, Emotional Freedom

2. Begin Looking at Your Strengths

self esteemList Your Positive TraitsWrite down a minimum of 10 positive traits in your journal and keeping adding to it. Practice using at least one positive trait each day.

Whatever you practice over and over develops into your attitude, abilities and qualities of your life. Author Unknown

I find the less you focus on your flaws, the better off you are. Be yourself and be glad. Michelle Pfeiffer, Actress

3. Stop Hating Your Body

Do you believe you should diet and exercise to look like the models in the glossy magazines. You weigh too much. You’re too short, you’re too tall.

Everyone has a different body. No one type is better or worse than another. Models have to be very tall and thin, few people look like that.

I have cellulite. So what?

I’ve never claimed to be perfect. It’s crazy anyone should assume that just because you’re in the spotlight, you’re flawless. Sometimes I pig out and I still feel great, and think, ‘That was so worth it!’ And don’t forget: The vast majority of women – even thin, fit ones – sport lumpy bits, so don’t let it sap your mojo. Kim Kardashian, Actress, Model, & Television personality


4. Begin Caring for and Nurturing Yourself

Women when stressed tend to reach out to other women for emotional support and express their feelings. Women like to talk about their feelings and tell their stories.

Begin to develop the ability to recognize and accept your need to look after yourself. Only when we re-energize ourselves can we truly nurture others from our overflow. Eat some of your favorite food, listen to calming or uplifting music, go for a walk in nature, read a book, take a hot bubble bath or anything that nourishes you.

5. Change Negative Words into Positives

When you hear your critical inner voice rather than continuing to unleash a force of negative energy, turn each of the letters in a negative word that you call yourself into a positive. Remember U.G.L.Y. stands for Unique, Gifted, Lovable, You.

Start changing some of the critical self-talk words you use against yourself like fat or stupid into positives.

Your life is a reflection of how you think – Oprah Winfrey

6. Recognize Your Uniqueness and Gifts

Rather than emotionally and mentally beating yourself up in your mind and with negative words, claim your uniqueness.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss, Author, The Cat in the Hat

People say that you’re going the wrong way when it’s simply a way of your own - Angelina Jolie, Actress & Director, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. People magazine named her one of 2012’s Most Beautiful at Every Age.

Ponder on This:

That’s the coolest thing in the world, to have success from you being you - Jessica Simpson, Actress and Singer-Songwriter

Now you have some tools for healing the pain of your low self-esteem.

About Michael

Michael David Lawrience is the author of Emotional Health: The Secret from Drama, Trauma, and Pain. His book provides ways for improving emotional health, easing pain and stress, healing physical and emotional abuse, and spiritual awakening.

Michael as a Residential and Self-Esteem Coach and Mentor has over 13 years experience teaching teens self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-reliance. See eBook Self-Esteem: A Teen’s Guide for Girls

Michael offers Bowen Therapy in person in Sedona, Arizona for easing physical and emotional pain. See http://emotionalhealthtips.com/bowen-therapy


 

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