The higher your oxytocin, the higher your happiness and well-being, at least for women says Paul Zak, PhD, a researcher.
Why do men and women handle stress differently?
When stress strikes cortisol and epinephrine hormones elevate blood sugar and blood pressure for both men and women. The brain also releases oxytocin which counters the other two hormones, producing relaxation. Oxytocin may influence our ability to bond with others.
Women, however, produce more oxytocin than men which leads them to form nurturing relationships and to talk about their feelings more when they encounter stress. They “tend and befriend.”
Researcher Shelly Taylor, Ph.D. finds females under stress nurture themselves and their young - tend – and form bonds with other women – befriend.
Women, as a whole, tend to focus on looking after other people’s needs which can create more stress for them as a nonworking behavior. This, however, orients them to the value of relationships and female bonding.
Men, on the other hand, with smaller amounts of oxytocin, lean toward fight or flight response when it comes to stress. They either bottle the stress up or they fight back because they concentrate on competition and outer performance to set the pace of their lives. To win regardless of the cost to their relationships can create incredible stress and physical health issues for men.
In my experience, men steer clear of expressing their feelings or stress with other men. Perhaps we fear feeling vulnerable and possibly open to attack. So to relieve stress we seek escape activities such as golf or football games where we can release stress while still enjoying the company of other men.
In conclusion, loss of relationships can be the greatest stressor for women while fear of lack of performance haunts men. In addition, with less oxytocin and a different paradigm of relating leaves men with less capability for stress reduction than women.
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