Emotional Health

Self-Interview with Michael David Lawrience, author of Emotional Health: The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, and Pain. (Conducted by Michael David Lawrience)

Q: The Wounded Inner Child, Does it Run Our Lives?

A: Like most of you I had no idea I had an inner child until in my early 40′s motivated by a series of unhappy relationships, I gained an interest in my inner child and the possibility of healing him.

I grew up as an invisible lost child in a family with an alcoholic father. So I repeated the same trauma in my intimate relationships whenever I felt threatened, I retreated into myself without ever expressing my feelings. Some of my partners did the same.

My inner child remained unknown to me until my partner at the time told me she had a therapist who worked with healing her inner child. This and most of all the pain of being unable to express my feelings or needs in relationships motivated me to contact this child. I started by reading John Bradshaw’s, Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child.

Our inner child reveals themselves to us in the patterns of trauma and pain, which triggered by relationship conflicts keep reappearing in our lives, unchanging. The question we can then ask ourselves, who runs my life, me the adult or the wounded child within? I have another question. How many men like me unconsciously have their women carry their feelings for them? In other words, as men we numb and avoid feelings and thus allow our partners to express them for us.

Over time and coaching by my wife, I have learned to identify and express my feelings easier rather then allowing my inner child to wallow in powerlessness and drag me down into the pit of hopelessness which I experienced as a child.

So my wounded inner child ran my life until I learned to embrace him. By staying present with feelings as they arise, they began to transform on their own and a peace fills me. I do this more and more now. I choose to take charge rather than allowing my inner child to sit in the driver’s seat of the emotional train. When our inner child heals, we heal.

When will you choose to understand your childhood programming, recognize your repeating life patterns, begin to acknowledge your pain, and  embrace your feelings and your wounded inner child?

Next week read Does Recovering from Codependency Reduce Emotional Pain?

Check out Kindle eBook The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, & Pain http://ow.ly/2w28n