EMOTIONAL HEALTH & ENERGY HEALING TIPS

Previously, I gave the 1^st three tips in http://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/healing-emotional-abuse

1. Emotional Repression – Feel and express your feelings in healthy ways.

2. Emotional Violence – Heal your own inner child.

3. Parents Use Children to Satisfy Their Own Needs – Strengthen your self-esteem.

Emotional abuse includes verbal violence and the lack of positive emotional support. Abusers control, criticize, demean, ignore, make children less then, powerless, and victims.

So how does emotional abuse damage a child’s self-esteem?

Part 2 gives the remaining four tips:
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Did you know the effects of childhood abuse can last a lifetime?

Emotional abuse includes verbal violence and the lack of positive emotional support. Abusers control, criticize, demean, ignore, make children less then, powerless, and victims.

Abuse robs children of the ability to trust, healthy psychological development, and high self-esteem. These children enter adulthood with a sense of inadequacy never feeling good enough. They fall into patterns of victimhood and powerlessness.

Did you know physical abuse almost always involves emotional abuse?

So how does emotional abuse damage a child’s self-esteem?
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Did you know in countries around the world up to 36% of girls and 29% of boys have suffered child sexual abuse (The 57th session of the UN Commission on Human Rights 2001)? This works out to about 1 in 3 children affected by sexual abuse.

Fortunately, I never suffered sexual abuse as a boy. I, however, experienced as a result of emotional abuse some of the same feelings and beliefs which plague sexually abused children. Living with an alcoholic father for 18 years I picked up his deep anger and sadness and for most of my life believed it belonged to me. Like some sexually abused children I felt shy, socially awkward, and believed I stood on the lowest rung of the self-esteem ladder.
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What is our wounded inner child? It is all the fearful, hurt, neglected, and vulnerable parts of our psyche, as a young child, which have separated from our being because of trauma or for survival. These parts never had a chance to express themselves, have a voice.

Most of us, whether we realize it, have various severed child parts at different ages from birth to less than ten years old. In addition, most of us as adults never think about having a wounded inner child. Furthermore, we usually have no idea how to heal these parts even if we wanted to.

So how do we recognize the signs our inner child needs healing?

Do you experience on a repeated basis any of the following as an adult: mistrust, shame, fear of intimacy, desire to please others, issues with authority, judgment and criticism of yourself, anger issues, or feelings of isolation? Overall, do you experience the same repeated patterns of conflict in failed relationships or repeating emotional reactions to people or events?
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Did you know an American Medical Association survey found 72 percent of American homes harbor someone with an addiction?

From my experience of teaching self-esteem and recovery from codependency to teen girls for five years, more than 70 percent of American homes harbor codependent families. Thus, a codependent, dysfunctional, unhealthy family can occur as a result of members adjusting their behavior to survive in a family with an addict – someone who lacks the ability to love themselves.

Did you or someone you know grow up in a family with a parent as an addict? Understand that the addiction can involve alcohol, drugs, and physical or sexual abuse. I believe addictive behaviors result as an effort to fill a void of emptiness from the inability to love oneself.
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Dysfunctional families are the product of an emotionally dishonest, shame based, patriarchal society based upon beliefs that do not support loving self. Robert Burney

A dysfunctional family kills loving ourselves so out of a need for survival self-esteem suffers a major beating. Did this happen in your family or a family you know?

The following shows how I and four younger brothers and sisters survived in our family. To review the main six roles in a dysfunctional family exist of addict, caretaker, hero, clown, scapegoat, and lost child.

Read my previous article Top 6 Dysfunctional Family Roles Affecting Our Self-Esteem for more detail on the roles.

I cite my family to give you an opportunity to relate to your own family. At about the age of ten, I took on the role of Hero. In other words, I took the place of my alcoholic father, the Addict, with the unconscious intent of protecting my mother from his violence. During my teen years driven by sense of inadequacy I strived to be the best student I could be.
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Without knowing, in our families we wanted to maintain balance of some kind. We unconsciously adopted certain roles created by rules such as “don’t talk about the family problems.”

In dysfunctional families the roles we took on tended to be unhealthy because of alcohol or drug addiction, physical or sexual abuse, or extreme aggression by a parent. We fell into these roles as a way to reduce stress and emotional pain. As a result our self-esteem – our degree of confidence in ourselves suffered.

As children, we may have believed we caused the problems. We choose our different roles to survive the best way we know how.

What role or roles did you assume in your family? We can take on different roles at different times.
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Are you sick and tired of the same patterns reappearing in your life, over and over? Do you focus on what you want and still get the opposite? On the other hand, does worry create also create what you don’t want? Are you aware of your negative thoughts which sabotage your happiness, self-esteem, and success? When negative thoughts sabotage our conscious intents, we feel bad about ourselves which increases our negative thinking.

Do the following three tips to overcome negative thoughts thereby improving your self-esteem and success in all areas of your life. (more…)

7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way including their looks, performance in school and relationship with friends and family members. US Statistics

In the Western World fathers and mothers lack the skills or time to tell their children they love them. In contrast in the Tibetan society, according to the Dalai Lama, with extended families children feel loved. Thus, Tibetan children have no issue with low self esteem.

When we as adults have little capacity to love ourselves then we feel reluctant to express love to others, including our children.

The lack of loving self and being able to express love to others goes back generations in both my father and mother’s lineage. My father drank all the time probably because he felt awful about himself. I have no idea how he felt for he never spoke about anything personal or showed any interest in talking to me.

My mother’s mother died before her teen years. She took over being the mother for the family and received no praise from her autocratic father. All she knew was hard work.
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Do you love yourself?

When we judge ourselves, we carry this over to judging others. This judgment reflects the lack of love for ourselves.

Likewise, when our inner critic criticizes us for being not good enough, we criticize others for not being good enough, even though it may be in our minds only. Our judgments and critical thoughts close our hearts to loving ourselves and thereby others.

I believe many people remain unaware of how they think and the way they treat themselves becomes the same way they treat most other people.

Do you know people who are unkind to others? When you reflect on them do you see they have the same unkindness towards themselves, the same lack of self love?

Are you ready to take another step in loving yourself?

This means you accept yourself just the way you are. Once you can do this, then change can happen.
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